China: Understanding society and culture

Author's Note: This is to understand the essential pillars of Chinese culure, their relations- how they marry, how they get out of marriage and why?

The early sages in China believed that the family was the basic element of society since a family is bonded through blood. The relationship between father and son is the core of the relationship and is extended further to encompass relationships between husband and wife, monarch and the subject, senior and junior and between friends.

These are called the Five Cardinal Relationships, and they include most of the relationships between people in a Chinese society even today.

Benevolence is considered the highest standard of social ethics and the nation’s moral benchmark when its welfare is at stake. The notion of righteousness is often regarded as the core value and the supreme standard of ethics.

Some say benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, intelligence and faith are the five fundamental moral principles and righteousness the core value of the Chinese society.

Defining Kin

In Chinese culture, “nine grades of relations” is an important concept when it comes to application of laws and observing rituals. Since the Han Dynasty, there have been two separate interpretations of what is defined by the nine grades. Each interpretation is based on societal and political needs as the ruler of the day see fit.

The older interpretationdefined the nine grades of relations strictly in the paternal line. That is, nine generations from great-great-grandfather down to great-great-grandchildren. This interpretation was officially recognised after Tang and Song dynasties. While, the contemporary interpretation defines these nine grades of relations to be four generations from the paternal line, three from the maternal line, and two from the wife’s.

Institution of Marriage

There are essentially six rituals in a Chinese wedding, despite China’s long history and many different geographical areas, which are as follows:

1. Proposal: When an unmarried boy’s parents find a potential daughter-in-law. Then they locate a matchmaker who discusses marriage on the part of two families yet unknown to each other.
2. Birthdates: If the selected girl and her parents accept the proposal, the matchmaker would match the birthdates which is used to predict the future of that couple-to-be. If the result of is good, they then would go to the next step.
3. Bride price : At this point the bridegroom’s family arranges for the matchmaker to present a bride price to the bride’s family.
4. Wedding gifts: The groom’s family would then send an elaborate array of food, cakes, and religious items to the bride’s family.
5. Arranging the wedding: Before wedding ceremony, two families would arrange an auspicious day for wedding.
6. Wedding Ceremony: The final ritual would be the actual wedding ceremony where bride and groom become a married couple, which consists of many elaborate parts:
   1. Wedding Procession: from the bride’s home to the groom’s home
   2. Welcoming the Bride: the bride’s family stops at the door of the groom’s home followed by ceremonies to welcome the bride
   3. Actual Wedding Ceremonies: the couple would pay respect to the Jade Emperor, the patron family deities (or patron buddhas and bodhisattvas), paying respect to deceased ancestors, the bride and groom’s parents and other elders, and paying respect to each other

In traditional Chinese society, there are three major ways to dissolve a marriage.

1. no-fault divorce:  due to personal incompatibility, provided that the husband writes a divorce note.
2. state-mandated annulment: when one spouse commits a serious crime against the other or his/her clan.
3. husband may unilaterally declare a divorce: based on one of the following seven reasons
   1. The wife lacks filial piety towards her parents-in-law
   2. She fails to bear a son
   3. She is vulgar or lewd/adulterous
   4. She is jealous
   5. She has a vile disease
   6. She is gossipy
   7. She commits theft